so this is a rambling, all over the place kind of post.
Decided to get out for a walk this afternoon. Glad I did. More glad I ended up at some artistic events, where I exchanged the following short story for a book. I think I got the bargain (though so far I’ve only read the first couple of pages of the book)!
Once upon a time there was a young man. When he was little he had been cursed by his evil stepmother. Whenever he looked in a mirror, an evil creature hiding in his shadow would twist the image, so he could only see his shadow self. He hated this shadow self, but could never escape the face staring at him from the mirror.
One day he met a beautiful fairy who showed him a way to defeat his shadow. She shattered the mirrors and banned them from the land. But one sad day, he walked past a murky pond, and the shadowy depths acted like a mirror in the bright sun. He leant over, fascinated by the grey image staring back.
They found him floating and bloated the next day.
Following on from the story session, I got to looking at some lovely ceramic art in a makeshift gallery.
At the far end was, essentially, a dressing up stall, with loads of edwardian regalia. They said it was all for a photographer to take arty pictures of people dressed in period costume… but I knew it for what it was… an excuse to dress up and be silly and have fun. So that’s what I did… except I ended up (after trying on a few costumes) in Mourning Dress. And realised when I was told to look sad that I didn’t have to pretend, just remember how I was feeling. It felt like such an effort to switch modes back at the end.
To help me process, on the way out of the park, I took some pictures of these beautiful plants with red leaves/flowers shaped like little paper lanterns. The were beautiful and eye catching, but some had already started to break down so you could just see little patches of the veins, and one or two, that was all that was left. Reminded me of Ecclesiastes, or bubbles.
And I continued walking, and the sky was beautiful and changeable, and then sun shone on the trees and the stream running next to the path helped to wash the sorrow away, for a while.
But I found myself this evening, parked up by a larger body of water, watching sleepy water birds and listening to sad songs on the radio. Had a good cry. But then a fox came. A beautiful, wary, lithe young fox, investigating cautiously. Somehow the fox and the moon were comforting enough to drive home with a sense of stillness again. But still just ate a tonne of icecream.
Like I said rambling. Not really an efficient straight path, but it got me where I am today.